Attend to the speaker. Look at people when they speak to you. If you are blind, orient toward the speaker’s voice. Give the speaker all of your attention.
Listen to what the speaker is saying.
Listen to what is actually said (hear the words).
Listen to what is not said—”read between the lines” (listen for voice intonation).
Listen for feeling. Try to guess how the speaker is feeling based on what you hear in his or her voice. Is the speaker happy, sad, fearful, or angry? Do not worry about guessing incorrectly, the speaker will clarify if you guess his or her feeling incorrectly. If you try to determine how the speaker is feeling by guessing, it lets the speaker know that you care enough about him or her to be paying attention.
Try to determine the message the speaker is trying to impart. Ask if you are unsure, “Are you saying that…?” or “Do you mean…?” or “Am I understanding you to say…?”
Say something in reply that shows you understood how the speaker feels and that you care about the message being relayed to you.
You might say, “I appreciate you taking time to share…with me” or “Thanks for getting back to me about…”
